How We Change (And Ten Reasons Why We Don’t)
A paradigm-shifting instant classic that challenges our assumptions about making personal changes by encouraging us to understand and embrace our resistance to it.
We all have something we want to change about ourselves. But whether it’s quitting smoking, losing weight, or larger issues like developing more meaning and purpose in our lives, we feel a sense of failure when we don’t succeed. This often sets off a cascade of negative feelings and discouragement, making it even harder to change. The voice in our head tells us: Why bother?
But successful change depends far more on understanding why we don’t change. Psychotherapist and sociologist Ross Ellenhorn has spent decades pioneering work to help people overcome extreme psychiatric experiences and substance-use issues. In the process, he has developed an effective approach that enables all of us to achieve long-term transformation, from the simplest shifts to the most profound.
How we Change (and the Ten Reasons Why We Don’t) suggests that we’re often looking in the wrong direction when we try to decipher the factors that support human change. He suggests that it’s much more fruitful to look at why we don’t change, than figure out why we do. By looking at the reasons we don’t change, we give ourselves the best chance of actually changing in meaningful ways.
Ellenhorn explains how we are wired to double down on the familiar because of what he calls the "Fear of Hope" - the act of protecting ourselves from further disappointment—and identifies the “10 Reasons Not to Change” to help us see why we behave the way we do when we are faced with the challenge of hope.
Ellenhorn actually gives us hope, helping us to work toward the change we seek. Ellenhorn speaks to the core of our insecurities and fears about ourselves, with a humor and kindness. By turning our judgments about self-destructive behaviors into curious questions about them, he teaches us to think about our actions to discover what we truly want - even if we’re going about getting it in the wrong way.
How We Change is a brilliant approach that will forever alter our perspective - and help us achieve the transformation we truly seek.
A paradigm-shifting instant classic that challenges our assumptions about making personal changes by encouraging us to understand and embrace our resistance to it.
We all have something we want to change about ourselves. But whether it’s quitting smoking, losing weight, or larger issues like developing more meaning and purpose in our lives, we feel a sense of failure when we don’t succeed. This often sets off a cascade of negative feelings and discouragement, making it even harder to change. The voice in our head tells us: Why bother?
But successful change depends far more on understanding why we don’t change. Psychotherapist and sociologist Ross Ellenhorn has spent decades pioneering work to help people overcome extreme psychiatric experiences and substance-use issues. In the process, he has developed an effective approach that enables all of us to achieve long-term transformation, from the simplest shifts to the most profound.
How we Change (and the Ten Reasons Why We Don’t) suggests that we’re often looking in the wrong direction when we try to decipher the factors that support human change. He suggests that it’s much more fruitful to look at why we don’t change, than figure out why we do. By looking at the reasons we don’t change, we give ourselves the best chance of actually changing in meaningful ways.
Ellenhorn explains how we are wired to double down on the familiar because of what he calls the "Fear of Hope" - the act of protecting ourselves from further disappointment—and identifies the “10 Reasons Not to Change” to help us see why we behave the way we do when we are faced with the challenge of hope.
Ellenhorn actually gives us hope, helping us to work toward the change we seek. Ellenhorn speaks to the core of our insecurities and fears about ourselves, with a humor and kindness. By turning our judgments about self-destructive behaviors into curious questions about them, he teaches us to think about our actions to discover what we truly want - even if we’re going about getting it in the wrong way.
How We Change is a brilliant approach that will forever alter our perspective - and help us achieve the transformation we truly seek.
A paradigm-shifting instant classic that challenges our assumptions about making personal changes by encouraging us to understand and embrace our resistance to it.
We all have something we want to change about ourselves. But whether it’s quitting smoking, losing weight, or larger issues like developing more meaning and purpose in our lives, we feel a sense of failure when we don’t succeed. This often sets off a cascade of negative feelings and discouragement, making it even harder to change. The voice in our head tells us: Why bother?
But successful change depends far more on understanding why we don’t change. Psychotherapist and sociologist Ross Ellenhorn has spent decades pioneering work to help people overcome extreme psychiatric experiences and substance-use issues. In the process, he has developed an effective approach that enables all of us to achieve long-term transformation, from the simplest shifts to the most profound.
How we Change (and the Ten Reasons Why We Don’t) suggests that we’re often looking in the wrong direction when we try to decipher the factors that support human change. He suggests that it’s much more fruitful to look at why we don’t change, than figure out why we do. By looking at the reasons we don’t change, we give ourselves the best chance of actually changing in meaningful ways.
Ellenhorn explains how we are wired to double down on the familiar because of what he calls the "Fear of Hope" - the act of protecting ourselves from further disappointment—and identifies the “10 Reasons Not to Change” to help us see why we behave the way we do when we are faced with the challenge of hope.
Ellenhorn actually gives us hope, helping us to work toward the change we seek. Ellenhorn speaks to the core of our insecurities and fears about ourselves, with a humor and kindness. By turning our judgments about self-destructive behaviors into curious questions about them, he teaches us to think about our actions to discover what we truly want - even if we’re going about getting it in the wrong way.
How We Change is a brilliant approach that will forever alter our perspective - and help us achieve the transformation we truly seek.
About the Author
Ross Ellenhorn, PhD, is an eminent thought leader on innovative methods and programs aimed at helping individuals diagnosed with psychiatric and substance-use issues recover in their own communities, outside of hospital or residential settings. He is the founder, owner, and CEO of ellenhorn, the most robust community integration program in the United States, with offices in Boston, New York City, and Raleigh-Durham. Dr. Ellenhorn is also the cofounder and president of the Association for Community Integration Programs, and the founder of two lecture series that aim to shift current behavioral health paradigms. He gives talks and seminars throughout the country, and is an in-demand consultant to mental health agencies, psychiatric hospitals, and addiction programs in the United States and Europe. Dr. Ellenhorn is the first person to receive a joint PhD from Brandeis University’s Florence Heller School for Social Welfare Policy and Management and the Brandeis Department of Sociology.